Good question.
First of all I want to make sure you understand what coaching is, and more importantly what it is not.
By its very nature Coaching is future focused, meaning that the focus of the session will purely focus on what it is that you want. In order to get what you want, there will likely be a need to go into the past to get some information, however the underlying purpose of dipping into the past will always be with the underlying purpose of getting you where you want to be. Coaching is based on neuroscience, and as a result, your Coach will be asking you a lot of questions in a very specific way with the purpose of identifying limiting beliefs, unlocking values, and helping create new neural structures – all with the purpose of getting you to where you want to be. The focus of the session is always led by the client, and what their goals are, and is a much more equal relationship than that of a therapist-client relationship (more on that later). Coaching is an active process, whereby positive change in the client is actively supported and encouraged, therefore in order to create this change, you will have multiple actions to help create the change you want.
Many Coaches will often be trained in various different Change practices which they may incorporate during your sessions varying from things like Neuro Linguistic Programming, to more Spiritual and Energy related work.
Coaching is not therapy, counselling, mentoring or consulting. If we are to summarise at a very high level:
- Therapy is about going into the past to process areas of trauma/or experiences which are making current day to day lives difficult.
- A Counsellor would typically work with people who are experiencing significant levels of distress which is affecting their everyday life.
- A Mentor is usually skilled in a certain area and will help those seeking direction in that area of expertise.
- A Consultant might work with an individual or group of individuals to diagnose a problem they are facing and recommend a solution to their current challenges.
- A Coach will work with clients around their desire to move forward in their lives and achieve their ambitions.
If we take the analogy of a car; a Therapist will help you explore your past to uncover what it is that stopping you from getting into the car, a Counsellor will listen to the anxieties about getting into the car, a Mentor will share their own experience of driving a car and give handy tips and tricks, a Consultant will give you a clear logical list about how best to drive a car, and a Coach will encourage and support as you drive the car so that you become the best driver you can be.
OK, now we understand that let me explain how Coaching can help YOU!
One of the key areas of focus is helping YOU get really clear on what it is you want, and then supporting you, challenging you, and empowering you to get there. Some people will rock into a coaching relationship already crystal clear on what they want, other people arrive in the door foggy, and unclear. Both are A-ok, we can work with both! The key ingredient is that you know you are not where you want to be, and you know you want something else instead.
Once we know what that end goal is that you desire, we will start looking at what is happening inside your head. What beliefs are holding you back from that thing you really want? What is it that is really important to you at a deep core level? How are these working together (or likely not)? What patterns are going on right now that are holding you back? What is stopping you from getting to where you want to be? What do you want instead? And once we understand all this, start to build new patterns within your brain to drive you forwards, that are in alignment with your values, who you are, and the direction you want to go in.
If I could give one golden nugget to everyone reading this it would be this: your success is dependent on YOUR commitment and your WILLINGNESS to change and DO things differently. When we are talking about Coaching, what we are really talking about is Change Work. And changing what? Your beliefs, your outlook, your patterns of thinking, your automatic choices, your internal compass. Your brain has worked it’s current way your whole life, so whether it benefits you or not, it’s really good at working the way it currently works. To create those new neural structures that drive you towards where you want to be, and to make those stronger than your existing thinking patterns, it will take determination and willingness to do thinking differently. Especially when it feels weird, uncomfortable, and outside of your comfort zone.
Or, you can stay where you are.
